After receiving a routine ‘Find My iPad’ call, Palo Alto police tracked the location to an apartment building and asked to be let inside. Apparently already high, the three druggies allowed the officers in assuming they wouldn’t find the 780lb of crystal meth lying around the place ready for distribution. $35 million of drugs later, District Attorney Jeff Rosen is calling this one of the biggest drug busts in their history.

The department is used to collecting around 100lb of the poison per year, so this type of find is rare and very lucky.

“They have $35 million, and they can’t go out and buy an iPad?” asked Rosen.

I can’t help but wonder how people this brainless collect this kind of change, but I’m guessing by the time these clowns get back in the real world, iPads will be pretty obsolete… and so will meth…

38-year-old Jeanette Ogara was killed Tuesday night when her live-in boyfriend decided to launch a makeshift cannonball directly at their mobile home. Although the cause of death has not been officially released, I’d say death-by-stupid is a good place to start.

Unfortunately, its quite clear the mother killer was drinking at the time (SURPRISE) of the accident. No one else was hurt by the blast, but Richard Dale Fox, 39, was taken to a local hospital where he was released into police custody to face charges for the homicide.

Makes me a little worried that drunk rednecks around the country have upgraded to building cannons! Whatever happened to the good ol’ days where you just drank a few Budweiser then tried to find someone to fight?

According to students, the principal was holding a school-wide assembly where she was discussing several agenda items including PDA (Public Display of Affection). She then turns and points to openly gay students and says: “If you’re gay, you’re going to hell and if you’re pregnant (then points to a pregnant teenager) you life is over.”

Obviously, the administrator has stepped down from her position, but is far from denying the words.

Haywood High School parent Tony Snipes was quoted, “”A couple of years ago when she was principal over at Sunny Hill one of my children had his hair in braids. At an assembly she told the young men if they’re sitting between the legs of a girl getting their hair braided for a few hours, that they must be gay.”

Seems to me, there is a lovely church in Kansas that would be perfect for Principal Bond. Maybe we’ll see her protesting at the next military funeral…

This dude takes it like a champ!

When Ashley Murray returned home last night with her son, she noticed a light on inside and found Keith Davis, 46, in her kitchen. She immediately called police and shouted through the window that the police were on their way. Davis politely responded that they had already been there and then sat down in a chair until they arrived.

After being allowed back into the house, the homeowner realized Davis had swept her kitchen, neatly folded her clean laundry, and had cooked a nice chicken and onion dinner complete with a broth that impressed even the officers.

“Me and the police think he was on some type of drug,” Murray said. “He seemed to think this was his home.”

The only thing he took was some orange juice, but “its cool cause he swept up my floor and folded my clothes.”

Turns out the man was a neighbor and he was on some kind of drug. Despite the mix up, he was still charged with breaking and entering.

I think every burglar could learn something here. If you’re going to take my stuff, the least you could do is help ease the experience a little by doing a little needed house work.

After claiming to be a retired officer, 50 year-old Robert Andrew Cooper was allowed into the jail’s bond hearing room, vowing permission from the Sheriff himself.

Once in the room, Cooper began interrupting proceedings announcing he was a paralegal and his 16 year-old son was a lawyer. He turned to a white deputy and suggested he run for Sheriff because “the Republican party 1 percent was getting together” in order to “get (Sheriff Edwards) out of there” referring to the Sheriff with a racially derogatory word.

The crazy man was escorted out of the room where supervisors attempted to reason with him before he claimed he was going to call the FBI, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation, and the White House alerting his boss, “the honorable Barak Obama”.

When he refused to leave the building, he was told he was under arrest but responded with his intent to arrest the arresting officer, ordering him to “assume the position” and asking to borrow his handcuffs because he didn’t have his own.

I can’t help to wonder how do people get this crazy?

245th-nationally-ranked Woodlawn (Birmingham, AL) linebacker Cassanova McKinzy made it clear he chose Auburn University to fulfill his skull-crushing duties in part to Clemson’s lack of Chick-Fil-A around campus.

“(It was) kind of the environment and plus they had no Chick-Fil-A on campus,” McKinzy said of his decision to not attend Clemson. “You had to go like, probably like 15 minutes off campus to go to like a real restaurant. Their café was kind of small.”

We’ll see the real damage done in Week 1, when Auburn and Clemson face off in a game hosted by… you guessed it… Chick-Fil-A…

Obviously not Alicia Lyons, a daycare worker from Kentucky, who was recently fired from her job and charged with first-degree criminal abuse for doing exactly that.

After frustration set in, Lyons admitted to receiving help from a coworker to tape the 18 month old to his sleeping mat for nap time. No word on whether the technique worked for the 20-year-old genius, but one thing is for sure: it is certainly a technique that will get attention. But mostly from the feds…

Many religious leaders claim to live lives that are transparent to the public, but in this case the transparency was only from the waist down.

Towson priest Mark Stewart Bullock was arrested on January 16 when police found the reverend sitting in an adult store without pants or a clue. Several customers complained of the man’s nakedness to the management and police, which is ironic however seeing as they were there to purchase porn!

I agree the ordained nudity was wrong and had to be dealt with, but you’re not exactly at Disney World, people! Lighten up a little.

Of course, “Father Stew” has been relieved of all his church duties and Christian critics now have some new ammo.